How hard is it for you to open up and be yourself around new people? Or does it take many, many shared experiences of dipping you toes into this week's word: trust.
Trust is defined as the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
And here's a frequent life quandary for me (maybe it's yours too): I often trust the least helpful people too much and the best folks not enough.
In thinking about trust, consider what author and social researcher, Brene Brown writes about in her book Daring Greatly.
When Brown’s 3rd grade daughter, Ellen, came home crying from school one day about some caddy girls on the playground who shared her secrets in a way she did not intend, Brown invited her daughter to think about the marble jar that sat in the middle of her classroom.
Ellen’s teacher, you see, had a practice of putting marbles in a large jar on a regular basis when the children followed the rules and worked together well as a team. When they misbehaved and disrespected the rules and one another, she took marbles out. When the bucket brimmed at the top, the class got a big reward like a pizza or ice cream party.
Brown says this: “I told Ellen to think about her friendships as marble jars. Whenever someone supports you, or is kind to you, or sticks up for you, or honors what you share with them as private, [it’s like] putting marbles in a jar. When people are mean, or disrespectful, or share your secrets, marbles come out. . . . Trust is built one marble at a time.”
I am wondering WHO puts marbles in your jar? Stop and name a person or two right now.
After hearing this story a couple years ago, I couldn't get Brown's illustration out of my head. I was making some new friends and my gut said to me, "These are your people." But my past experiences of hurt kept me cautious. But the "marbles in my jar" told me what to do.
Sure, no one is perfect and disappointments will come because we are all human. But, by paying attention to WHO puts marbles in your jar will give you much clarity as to how to invest your time and emotions.
Take it from a once skeptic who is learning what her whole heart wants, it can be so delightful to trust! The best people are around you. Lean into their care. I think God sent them to you for such a time as now!
XO
Elizabeth
