I haven't posted in over a week for one reason: I haven't had anything to say. For the blogging queen (as some of my friends call me), it is quite a big deal to be silent.
I currently am living in this "in between" time-- between what was familiar and what was traditional and what is to come (that I know not of).
And when you are here, there's often not a lot to say.
My normal mode of operation in times like this in the past has been to find a plan. It has been to find some idea of what is up ahead even if it is subject to change and change again. It has been to believe even still that I have some control over my own life (It's my life after all, isn't it?)
But, what I am learning in this "in between" time is that having a plan is not necessary to functioning (being plan-less is not a reason to NOT get out of the bed in the morning).
Ultimately, we never know what is going to happen in our lives . . . even if we think we do.
And, for me, I know this: I have little to no control around the circumstances of my life . . . even if others around me claim they do or brag that they do-- they don't and I don't either.
Who are we to say that we will do ___ on such a day to come?
Life is life. Sometime it can be like living in one desert after another-- a desert without a lot of water. Sometimes what you thought was going to happen certainly does not happen at all.
And in place like this, you often have nothing to say.
Sometimes your prayers are those where you put one foot in front of the other.
It's a season of life where you get to learn the lesson that God is God and you are not.
This lesson about who's really in charge of this world is lesson enough.
It's all you've got. And, you survive. Somehow you survive.
Even when people you depended on at one time are no more.
Even when what you used to hold on to in the dark is no longer there.
Even when you no longer have the community that was once your bread.
You survive.
There's hope somehow in crumbs you find that help you leap from one hard place to another.
You keep going.
This is what being "in between" is all about.
