For years I've hung around friends who write books. I've observed them. I've admired them. I've taken notes.
Maybe for the reason that before I even said the words aloud, "I want to write a book one day" I knew this would be my journey.
And in sticking close to my book writing friends, I'd observed that those who both write books and maintain blogs (like this one) always took a complete time out when their deadline to their editor neared. (Like mine is now!)
These friends would post messages saying: "Shut down. Coming back in 3 months."
As I'd read these posts (as devoted readers of their work), I wondered why all the drama? How can you not do both? Why aren't you disciplined enough to allocate time for all the unique parts of their writing life?
I boasted internally that when I neared the completion of my manuscript, I'd also have the ability to keep all the wheels going in the air including a blog. Mostly because I'd been working my manuscript it for so long. . .
But here I am with a REAL publication day coming soon.
And I have to confess to you:
I was so wrong.
I can barely find energy to write sermons for Sunday.
As I've been editing like crazy, really like crazy (you can ask Kevin, poor Kevin) there's been nothing left to give Preacher on the Plaza.
It's not because I'm lazy.
It's not because I suddenly care less about the normal things I muse about.
And it's not because I don't want to write weekly updates (or even have my normal put my head on the pillow ideas for posts on a nightly basis).
I can only produce so many words or good sentences in a particular amount of time, even if I wanted to give more. I can't.
And right now I need to devote my brightest times of the day to this book manuscript and the sermons that are asked of me on Sundays.
It's killing me because I can't wait to get back to the normal pace of my life.
I can't wait to share with you some of the big picture lessons I've learned about my own story as I've sifted through in an intense sort of way these past weeks.
I can't wait to blog about politics, liturgy, the preaching life or anything really that isn't infertility related.
But for now and for the sake of the quality of words that I hope you one day will want to read, I'm going to get back over there to that other document on my screen and stay at it.
So, in the meantime, you know where I am . . . drinking of the deeper wisdom that in life we might be able to "do it all" but most certainly not all at the same time!
