Preacher on the Plaza

We live in a culture that upholds marriage or at least partnership as one of the highest ideals. By time you reach 21 or 22 and aren’t married or partnered up with someone (especially in some parts of the country), people begin to ask the famous: “When are you going to get married?” question.  (This is so funny considering how in the world does anyone ever know the answer to this anyway?)

I came from a family with cousins who got married at 19 and 20.  My parents met in registration line on the first day of college.  So, without boyfriend in tow, I was suddenly the “old maid” in training by 23.   Though no one ever set out to make me feel bad, it was like my singleness was a despicable undesirable trait about me that no one really talked about but they all were thinking the same thing: “What’s wrong with her?”

Yet, when I moved to Washington DC I found the culture to be different from what I was used to. Singleness in your 30s and beyond was actually more of the norm. (Thank God! I was safe for a couple more years). And, the unexpected happened! I was blessed to have met the person who would be my husband at age 25 and was married at 27.  And, looking back on it now, I am actually glad that I didn’t get married as early as others (or myself) would have wanted.  And in the scheme of an urban culture, I got married young.

Pastoral Pause: my two cents advice to couples in their 20s considering marriage is: don’t rush! Get to know yourself first. Do adventurous things together and a part. Complete your education. And, you’ll know when the time is right. Don’t settle for anything less than someone who loves, adores you and wants to share in your life’s ambitions.

But, yet as I say all of this, I know how painful singleness can be for those who desire to be married. It is good and beautiful desire to want to share your life with another person. For a Christian, it can be one of the greatest tools of sanctification– abiding alongside someone to the point in which neither of you can neither run or hide from who you really are. “How could God keep us from this gift?” we might wonder.

Recently I was reading, Elizabeth Gilbert’s new memoir, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage in which Gilbert recounts an email from one of her thoughtful, intelligent friends who says this about why she longs for a wedding so much:

“Wanting to get married, for me, is all about a desire to feel chosen” (169).

While I totally understand this and indeed did feel chosen and special on my wedding day and every opportunity I have to tell someone who married me, I simultaneously think of the words of my ethics professor from Duke Divinity School, Stanley Hauerwas about this topic.

Hauerwas made the statement that marriage is NOT the highest Christian ideal, community is. Of course he began with the obvious: Jesus wasn’t ever married. The apostle Paul wasn’t married and writes about how marriage can be a stumbling block to ministry. Singleness, according to Paul, is a gift to be able to spend your time in worthwhile pursuits that married men and women would need to devote to family life.

However, Hauerwas took it one step further spoke about singleness in terms of Christian community.  People who are single, he said, know how much they need community. There is not a natural source of it in their dwelling place. Thus, they are much more likely to embrace community from diverse sources than their married friends are. They go out and find it with great intention!

Now, being a married person seeking to find herself in abiding communities of friends, I agree with Hauerwas on this.

I see how easy it is for couples who begin dating or who are recently married to cut themselves off from others and create a little kingdom inside their home, pretending that they don’t need other relationships besides their partner. 

I’ve also observed that as Kevin and I seek NOT to be those people, it is usually our single friends who always want to hang out with us. We go through a grieving period of sorts every time one of our friends begins a committed relationship. Not because we aren’t happy for them, but because we miss them as friends. Married folks often don’t make as good of friends if friendship isn’t a top priority.

Maybe then singleness is not so bad after all. Yes, it is disheartening to want something that you can’t seem to have, but at the same time, it is single friends, in my humble opinion, who bring life and fun to our communities. Our communities need singleness as much as they need marriage. I just hope we’re all patient enough to accept life’s seasons as they unfold for us . . .

Holy Week has begun and the pace of church life this week is faster than ever. Ministers love weeks like this when worship planning and liturgical reflection take center stage (we  enjoy these things and were trained to do them afterall), but we are also glad when Easter Monday comes around and gifts of time allow us to catch our breath again.  For those of us leading worship, it will be an emotional week of many lows (the sadness of Good Friday always seems to put me in a somber mood) and the Sunday that we look forward to the entire year, Easter (always a great high attendance day to remind me what it is like for the church to be alive)!

As we participate in the life of Jesus over the next several days in a more intense way than normal, we do because we believe as members of the Christian faith that Holy Week and ultimately Easter is where meaning is found.  This upcoming week is where our Christian story comes to life.  Without the events of Holy Week, the church would simply cease to exist.

Last Wednesday night in our Lenten class which is studying Barbara Brown Taylor’s book: Speaking of Sin: the Lost Language of Salvation the group was discussing why having a conversation about sin ultimately aids in us having hope that things could get better in our messed up lives.  Taylor’s words came in to guide us on this one, directing us back to the church:

The church exists so that God has community in which to save people from meaninglessness, by reminding them who they are and what they are for. The church exists so that God has a place to point people toward a purpose as big as their capabilities, and to help them identify all the ways they flee from this high call. The church exists so that people have a community in which they may confess their sin– their own turning from life, whatever form that destructiveness may take for them– as well as a community that will support them to turn back again. The church exists so that people have a place where they may repent of their fear, their hardness of heart, their isolation and loss of vision, and where– having repented– they may be restored to fullness of life.

So, why the church this week? Come find community with faith seekers like yourself as we earnestly look at our lives and see the places where we’ve all missed the mark of God’s best for us. Come be a part of the story of the church’s becoming. Come receive the grace of new life possibilities.

What a great week when all of these gifts are so pronounced and present for us. I eagerly look forward to sharing Maundy Thursday special services with the Washington Plaza family on Thursday at 7 pm as well as with the Reston Community at large on Friday at noon. See you soon!

It seems in our country this week in particular manifestations of anger are everywhere.

Red states against blue states. Maps with opposing districts with bull’s-eyes on them. Rocks thrown at windows. Death threats because I disagree with your politics.

Have we really come to this?

Though it is human nature to have blinders on and for selfishness to reign in our relationships, our nation’s displays of anger are taking on a new life of its own.

Government leaders have become the easiest folks to blame. (As it seems a completely new slate of officers in Washington will be on docket the next time election season rolls around).

Protesters on all sides of the issues march with hate filled signs about the opposing viewpoint’s leaders. No one seems to be setting any sort of better example of how we can find a way to work together. . .

Passions are just too high for what we need most like reconciliation, consultation, or even actually listening to the opposing team. 

This Sunday, quite timely to these debates going on in our city, the sermon focus will be on the seventh deadly sin: anger.

The sin when we according the Merriam-Webster is defined as “a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism.”

We’ll be taking our direction from the events of the last week of Christ both from the Jesus’ ride into Jerusalem with loud shouts by the crowds: “Hosanna, Hosanna, blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord” to the shouts by the same crowds: ”Crucify Him! Crucify Him!”

How is it then that both of these voices can come from our lips?

How is it that anger comes seemingly out of nowhere in us?

What might be the Christian response to unmet expectations? Are loud shouts in protest: “This is not what I WANT! You are wrong and I am right” the only the tools we have when conflicts arise?

Join us on Sunday to find out.  Come with your anger. Come with your frustrations. Come with your feelings of discontent as we discover what the example of Christ might have to teach us about all of this. The hope is that we as a church can model a different way as a community of faith of what follows the “I’m so angry!” cries of our hearts.

I know there are a lot of pre-conceived stereotypes about pastors out there. 

Pastors must always be in a prayerful state.

Pastors must never spend time caring about “worldly” things like fashion or hairstyles or what the latest Hollywood news is.

Pastor must always be looking for spiritual themes in the movies they view.

Pastors must always have their Bible near and be meditating on it day and night.

Yet, for most pastors types I hang out  with, these stereotypes are far from true. Yes, we may be a little more into the land of spiritual things than the average person, but we are not walking, talking, always super-spiritual beings. Why? Because it just isn’t possible. Pastors are human beings too. We are on our own spiritual journey of discovering more of God just like everyone else. It just so happens that it is our calling is to lead as we figure things out too.

I make this preface for the story I am about to tell because I worry without the preface you’d begin to assume I was holier than is actually possible.

On Friday afternoon, I met some folks who didn’t quite know what to expect in a pastor.

I was sitting in my sermon writing chair thinking a lot about John 12:1-8 in preparation for last Sunday’s sermon on pride when I hear a knock at the door.

Normally I wouldn’t have answered the door because 1) I don’t like to be interrupted when I am trying to have this kind of intentional thinking (which is why I work from home on Fridays)

 2) I just don’t like answering the door when I’m at home alone.

But, I sprang up and did go to the door because it was 2 pm and I was expecting a guest at 2:30. “They just must be early!” I thought.

However, much to my surprise, when I opened the door, it wasn’t my friend or anyone I knew, but two older women in nice dresses, hats and heels. They didn’t look scary so I at least felt a bit more at ease. But this was until they opened their mouths.

“We’d like to invite you to our Jesus rally on March 30th. Here’s a pamphlet.”

Before I could interject anything they went on: “We’re from the church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints. And we are here today to tell you more about the Bible.”

(I’m thinking to myself: “Wow. I can’t believe this is happening to me. . . if they only knew“).

“Well,” I replied. “It’s nice of you to come by today, but I want you to know that I am pastor myself and I’m working on my sermon right now. I was actually just reading my Bible when you knocked on my door.”

To which one of the women replied the usual: “Wow, you are so young? How can you be a pastor? Do you have your own church?”

“Yes, I’m young. I went to seminary for training. Yes, I have my own church. It’s in Reston.”

They agreed to let me get back to my work if they could ask me a couple more questions. I could tell they were very curious and inquired more about my seminary training: “So when you went to seminary were there men and women together?”

“Yes, at least half my class contained female students.”

“And what were the reason cited for these students attending?  Did they come to earn a career or to do the will of God?”

Knowing this might be a trick question I answered, “Both. It’s great when God’s will for your life actually gives you a paycheck so you don’t have to do another job along with ministry.”

Though these women kept starring at me (like we didn’t expect this!), they proceeded on with their learned speech. No concern for the context whatsoever.

“So, we have some scriptures we want to show you about the coming of Christ and his chosen ones. Do you know where to find Psalms in the Bible?”

Trying not to laugh (of course I know where Psalms is), I listened as respectfully as I could. Then, interjected that I really had to get back to my sermon.

When the two asked what it was about I told  the story about Mary anointing the feet of Jesus in Bethany, what it meant for Jesus to be given such a gift, etc.

They were amazed that I had things to say about the Bible (I guess, again, no one they’ve met has wanted to talk to them about the Bible before).

And, again, one woman hit the other woman and reminded her to go back to the speech of showing me scripture verses. Luckily, after a while I finally got back to my sermon  . . .

While comical, I am always amazed at the perseverance of groups like the Jehovah’s Witnesses and the Mormons have in particular– for their evangelism focus shows more zeal than most Protestants or Catholics will ever know.

But that the same time, the lack of understanding of context in this encounter really struck me.

Were these women just doing what some authoritative leader asked them to do or did they really believe it? It seem to me if they believe it personally there might have been more initiative to go off script if they were truly interested in converting me.

It’s all right. I’m happy to be what I am. And I’m a little more motivated again this week to think about the ways my life is bearing witness to the story of Jesus which is forming my life, over and over and over again. Even when witnessing women show up at my door . . .

I can’t tell you how many times a visitor to one of our Sunday services or someone I meet in the community tells me that they are “shopping for a church.”

And, while I mean no disrespect to those who tell me this or who are currently engaged in this process (because if I was not currently a pastor I’d be doing it too), I have to say I grow tired of hearing it.

Why? Usually it means, we as a church or individuals have spent a lot of time investing in conversation and/or relationship with a person in who we will probably never see again.

(Side note: I don’t mean to sound overly dramatic about it here; yes, there are many visitors who stick with us and join the church and become gifts to our community).

Of course, this church or any church for that matter is not perfect nor is a good match for everyone.

If you are looking for a church where you can blend in and not be asked to do anything, then our congregation is not for you.

If you are looking for expository preaching with a list of mandated do’s and don’ts from the pulpit, then our congregation is not for you.

If you are looking for a place to “be in charge” or “get your way” because you didn’t get this opportunity in another community setting, then our congregation is not for you.

If you are looking for a lot of educational programs for each age group by decade, then our congregation is not for you.

But, of course if you are looking for a place where you can be unconditionally accepted and missed when you aren’t around. Or if you are looking for a place where the pastor and church leadership takes scripture and necessity of strong Christian community seriously. Or, if you are looking for a place where you will be asked to discern together God’s direction for our future, not alone.  Or, even if you are looking to get to know people who will inspire you to be involved in service of the community because it is the way of Christ. Then, this is the congregation for you.

It’s hard to say all of this in my talk fast you’ve got a minute at the door “Thanks for coming to worship today”  speech. And, it is even harder to convey such ideas in the time a random community member will allow me to tell him or her about my place of employment if I talk fast.

Yet, even so, I believe, church community is something to be experienced not intellectually understood. There is only so much I can say; for folks have to experience  a calling of sorts to join a church like ours (which is the way it should be in all places, I feel, by the way).

What I mean by calling is this: in deciding to join a church, the best reason to make such a huge committment is to feel yourself fitting in there, to be excited about how your gifts can be used to make it better, and with a open heart about how God is going to speak to you as you are shaped and formed by the people you worship alongside.

So, even though I embrace this process as often the only way people find churches these days, there is a part of me that remains sad about it.

I think about all of the visitors who came in our doors last year and who for what ever reason didn’t return. I think about the promise I felt while seeing their faces in the pews or even with some of them while sharing a more detailed phone call, coffee or lunch get-together. And, I miss them.

(If you are one of them, I have NOT forgotten about you).

This is my pastoral word of the day: for those of you on a perpetual church shopping quest, I hope that sometime soon you’ll find a home somewhere even if it is not with us. I hope for you to find a church home where you are known, loved and encouraged to  grow spiritually and serve.

We are not always the church we would like to be in the present and most certainly we are not the church that we hope to be in the future, but we are a faithful group of committed seekers who want to learn how to do right by God and one another.

I’m glad to be the pastor of those who have laid down their shopping carts and decided to make their spiritual home with on the Plaza!

Doesn’t shopping get old after awhile anyway?

If you’ve been following what we’ve been up to in worship during Lent this year, you know we’ve been talking a lot about sin.

The Sunday messages have taken their cues from the tradition of the Seven Deadly Sins and a group of us on Wednesday night are examining Barbara Brown Taylor’s book, Speaking of Sin: The Lost Language of Salvation.

I found congregation members saying things like: “I never attended a class on sin before.” Or, “I’m beginning to see how the relationships of my lives get entangled in the choices I make which aren’t God’s best intentions for me.” Or even, “Wow, I’ve never heard a sermon on that before!”

All of this is well and good– I’m happy to be providing this opportunity for conversation— until last Sunday, the week I was to preach on lust.

Honestly, I was a bit afraid, but confident that it was a message that we all needed to hear. These were feelings I tried to convey in my opening two paragraphs.

This morning, I’m sharing a new experience with all of you. I’ve never attempted to preach a sermon on lust before. I don’t think I’ve ever said the word “sex” from the pulpit as many times as I am about to say it.  As I begin, I acknowledge how private and how sacred this topic is to so many of us.  I could have easily picked this Sunday to be out-of-town or tried to convince you that I learned in seminary that there are six deadly sins not seven. . .

 But, take this plunge for important reasons. First, I am convinced that the health of our relationships, our partnerships and our marriages, (which are often the most stabilizing force in our daily lives), depend on what we do with our desires for what we do not have. If watching the evening news is any indication to us . . . David Letterman, Tiger Woods, David Patterson John Edwards, and the list could go on and on. . . how quickly our lust can become a serious problem! We can make poor choices with our desires that have the potential of robbing us of everything we call good. . . .

I made it through the sermon without blushing (I think) and am glad in the end, that I took such a risky plunge.

If you would like to hear the sermon in its entirety,  it is posted as all others are on the worship page of our website.

This coming Sunday’s sin is pride. I’m glad it’s another sin which we can all relate to, and at least it is a bit easier to preach on!

Seems odd to talk about waiting and hope during Lent. As long as I have been around the concept of seasons of the Christian year, “waiting” and “hope” have been traditional Advent words. 

But isn’t waiting something we do all year?

Isn’t waiting central to the idea of 40 days a part from normalcy in preparation for Easter?

Two weeks ago, Washington Plaza hosted several area pastors during the February meeting of the Reston Ministerim.  I had the opportunity to talk to the group of pastors gathered about our regular ESL ministry and other church services and programs that makes us unique. 

We also talked about our frustrations and joys as we seek to shepherd people in the local churches– all in a spirit of waiting on God’s good future. And, we sought to center ourselves in prayer.

The following prayer by Sharlande Sledge was used as our guide:

Look upon us gently, Lord, for waiting is not our forte.

So many things are . . . things like moving ahead, fixing what is wrong, planning what is next, diagnosing the problem, cramming more into one day than one person can possibly do before the sun goes down.

But waiting . . . when we are waiting for the light to shine, when we are waiting for the Word, when we are waiting for a wound to heal, nothing in all th world is harder than waiting.

So in your mercy, Lord, wait with us.

Be very present in waiting.  Heal our frenzy. Calm our fears. Comfort those who at this very minute are with every anxious breath and thought waiting for they know-not-what.

Transform our in-the-meantime into your time, while we wait with each other, sit with each other, pray each other into hope, surrounded by your presence, even in the darkness. Especially in the darkness.

Several of the group members remarked how important it was for them to find spaces “to wait on the know-on-what” especially as we all live in a world that we can neither control nor understand sometimes. Another group member said how much easier hopeful living becomes as “we wait with each other.” 

My prayer that came from this meeting was: I hope I don’t get so busy of seeking to solve problems that I miss out on God’s vision for where I am right now.

As we wait this Lent, let us just stop and be in the moment. Sometimes the space of waiting comes to us as a gift to be cherished . . . if we are not hurrying up to get to the next thing.

The more I am in the rhythm of the life of Washington Plaza, the more I realize how our Sunday morning worship service IS the central focus of what we do.

It’s not because we aren’t involved in community ministry and missions. It is not because we don’t care about administrative tasks that are essential to our being. And, it’s not because we aren’t spending our time in small groups fellowshiping together in a way that makes us stronger disciples of our faith.

But, because worship is what grounds who we are and gives us purpose for everything else.  In worship, I believe we find the guiding principles and practices that inform the rest of our life together.

For, it’s the time we hear scripture, and pray together after sharing our joys and sorrows, as well as have reason to reconcile with one another when we disagree (and we often do).  Most of all, it is the time when we receive our challenge to go forth and live a more purposeful life throughout the week.  Worship is the time when we live into the “already but not yet” reality of our lives in Christ.

For these reasons and many more, I look forward to how worship will shape us each Sunday.

But, simimuatanously, I miss worship every time that I go into the pulpit to lead it.

Why is this, you might wonder? Don’t I practically live at the church? (Yes, it is true) How could I of all people possibly miss worship?

If you haven’t realized this already, it is important to know that the experience of being a worshipper is completely different from leading worship. Even if you are well prepared as a pastor and there are moments here and there when you lose yourself in the liturgy as lay leadership plays a prominent role or as hymns are sung, it just isn’t the same.

Remember that I (like most clergy in other churches) sit up on the altar as I lead. It is very difficult if near impossible to step out of your  role while you are in charge of a service and experience God in a personal way when everyone is taking their cues from you.

Yet, this past week, I had the opportunity to be a worshipper and I can’t tell you how refreshing it was!

Thanks to the invitation of a colleague and friend who was preaching, I traveled to Richmond, Virginia to attend St. Paul’s Episcopal Church’s Lenten lunch series. The Lenten Lunch is a yearly practice and GIFT from the kind folks at St. Paul’s. A featured preacher is invited each week of Lent to conduct a 30 minute worship service followed by a homemade lunch.

On 12:30 pm on Friday afternoon, I was sitting in the pews, singing hymns and praying the Lord’s prayer on my knees alongside the downtown Richmond lunch crowd. I couldn’t help but be moved by the beauty in this simple service.

I had forgotten, you see, how important corporate experiences with God truly are.

I can’t tell you how moving it was to hear good preaching that I was not responsible for in a worship space with integrity.

Most of all, I had missed deeply the opportunity to connect with God in the company of others with the pressure taken off of me to “be the pastor.”

Yet, of course, the whole time, I was thinking about the sermon that I would preach in a couple of days and also about the ways our worship space at Washington Plaza could be enhanced (for you can never really turn your preacher brain off).

 But, it didn’t matter. In those moments in St. Paul’s, I was just Elizabeth the worshipper connecting with a God and with a faith that meant so much to me. Best of all, no one really knew I was Reverend and I could just be still and know that God was and is God. And, this spoke peace to my tired soul.

This type of meaningful worshipful moments are what I hope most for the people of Washington Plaza. Moments where worship means more than coming in and going out, more than seeing your friends and getting your weekly hug, and most of all that it means more than hearing me talk or anything else. What I hope you will experience in our space is the living God! If this happens more times than not, then I know we have been faithful as a congregation.

I’ll keep looking forward opportunities to experience the warm hospitality of worship like I did last week at St. Paul’s, and I hope that you’ll continue to provide me spaces of time away from the walls of the church to find nourishment for  all the tasks ahead.

I know it is Monday, but get excited already. For Sunday is coming when it will be time for us to worship together again.

Last night a small group of us finished our five-week course on Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together. I loved facilitating the course and being a part of it myself for several reasons:

It is energizing to me to be discussing spiritual things with a small group of people (instead of committee meetings all the time). There is just so much learning to occur when insights are shared, thoughts are challenged, and genuine energy to grow comes together in a block of uninterrupted time.

I’ve read Bonhoeffer’s book several times now (and even taught it twice before), but it is one of those texts where new insights come every time I read. Bonhoeffer really hits home the concept of the centrality of Christ’s story as a paradigm of life with others. I needed to hear this again in Bonhoeffer’s words at this juncture of my life, so I’m very grateful for the class to direct my reading in this way.

Though getting through the text was difficult at times (maybe due to the translation from German), it was a joy to hear class members share their insights into the text especially as we were all challenged by the idea of what it means to really bear with one another.

When I asked the class members what they gained most from the class, here were some of the main points of their  observations:

• The ideal of Christian community as Bonhoeffer describes should be a text that all of us read before we venture into a new project or task around the church. More people should read this book!
• I learned a lot about the importance of praying for those in whom I have conflicts– seeing a person as one in whom is made in the image of God and so I need to learn from first.
• The pattern of the day alone and the day with others is something that I want to try to build into my daily life more . . . maybe starting with a little thing like singing hymns outside of church.
• I was reminded again how HARD Christian community is. Why do we do it? Maybe because this is a reality that we all want for our lives even  if we have to labor intensely to make it happen and happen over time.

I look forward to other opportunities to teach or use this text to strengthen our community life. If you missed the class this go around and would be interested in learning more, let’s chat. So much good stuff that I would hate for you to miss!

I’ve been offline for over a week now as my hard drive crashed for seemingly no reason at all.

After hours on the phone with Dell, countless hours of help from a church member who is good at the technical side of things, and working from my home computer (which wasn’t very good), I am now back. My old computer is in the process of becoming a new computer as ALL the programs needed to be re-installed.

I will post something meaningful again soon.

Until then, here’s my personal service announcement: do a back-up of your files today. I hadn’t backed up in a couple of months and lost files and files of sermons, committee reports, pictures, etc. And, most of my email contacts are gone, so send me an email if you want me to rebuild my contacts with your name in it.

Yet no one died, so I’m trying to keep all the annoyance in perspective. Life will go on and hope yours has been lovely while I’ve been away!