It is easy in many religious circles to push people away based on what they believe or profess.
We can’t be friends anymore because you believe in evolution. I believe in creationism.
We can’t be friends anymore because you believe in gay marriage. I believe marriage is between a man and a woman.
We can’t be friends anymore because you believe the Bible is without errors. I believe it is full of them.
We can’t be friends anymore because you believe all religious paths lead to God. I believe you must pray only one prayer to be assured of heaven at the end of it all.
Now while the exact phrase “we can’t be friends” may or may not come up, the sentiment is still there. We cling to those who are like us. We tarry from those who are not. Journey into the Christian community a little bit at all and you’ll find such to be true.
We love to spent our time saying who is in and who is out.
Recently while at a Barnes and Noble, I found two books in close prolixity to each other that struck me as odd. One was entitled Why the Christian Right Is Wrong and the other said Reclaiming America’s Conservative Future from the Wacky Liberals. Oh how fun it is to believe we’ve got the correct market on God and try to make money writing about it.
But what happens when God comes close to you in someone you don’t expect? What if you see the presence of God in a neighbor that your church teaches you to shun? What if you find the Spirit in a place your colleagues or family likes to label as evil?
It is when love changes things. For it is hard to cast a person or their faith aside when you begin to love them, when you begin seeing the tenderness in their soul, the deep pains of their life and the shared fears that go into making us a part of the human family.
Recently I made a new friend. We are an unlikely match. He is a fan of the seven day creation theory and likes to talk about it, a lot. I don’t care one way or the other very much. He likes to go on mission trips for the sake of evangelism. I am not sure such is the best use of his resources. He is 30 years older than me too and from a part of the country that I am not particularly fond of. But we’ve become friends and out of this friendship I’ve seen his heart. I know he means well and just wants the best life can be like I do. I know he authentically wants others to experience more of God’s love in his life just as he is doing. I respect him. And in my own way I wish my generosity of spirit was as deep as his.
Love changed my hardened heart about folks of “his kind” and I am making baby steps in a new direction. It’s new and scary to make friends like this but wonderful too.
I can’t help but think we all need to keep challenging ourselves in this way. In this week ahead of a presidential election may we all think twice before we tweet a hateful remark about “the other side.” Or stop ourselves short of defriending a relative on Facebook who posts ideas we don’t agree with. Or stop ourselves short of trash talking over dinner another’s church with the loud worship band and projector screens when we prefer the quiet. It is the little things, we know…
May we all open room in our heart for the possibility of love changing things, finding friends on unexpected paths.