Brave Church

4 Things I Learned in 2014

Hi friends! I'm coming out of a writing hiatus that I've taken since getting through the rush of our Feed the Children Christmas tour in Tanzania, Kenya and Honduras, special Christmas services at my church, travel to see family AND most recently getting knocked down with the flu. Whew!

The pace of the end of 2014 in the Hagan household was no joke! And, I think I'm just now coming out of the fog of it all. A break was necessary!

But now I'm back and in the spirit of the Epiphany season, I thought I'd share a few of the pieces of wisdom I was given in 2014 with hopes that it might help make your list of 2014 wisdom too.

Lesson 1: Life is always on the move.

No matter if we see it, feel it, or accept it, your life and mine is always on the move. We are rotating around the sun aren't we? Most of us hate change, but it comes with breathing.

This year in our household, we physically moved from a loft apartment, to a hotel, to a temporary house, to then another house, a place we bought in Oklahoma (who would have ever thought it?). We also maintained another house in another state. And we visited 6 countries and countless states. So much of our 2014 has been on the move on airplanes!

And not only in dwelling places-- our household experienced much emotional change. Attitudes changed. Moods changed. The people we most trusted changed. I got a new church calling.

So this is what I know: if we want to do life well, we have to accept change. Life is always on the move.

Lesson 2: Fight for people who you love.

One of my popular posts of 2014 was the one I wrote about my relationship with Kevin, how we needed to fight for each other even when thousands of things swirling around us sought to pull us a part. I believe it resonated with readers because you've all been at that desparate place too at one time or another.

The same is true of any relationship. Relationships without attention stagnate.

This is the year I could have given up on some people. I was hurt more that I could say, and maybe they were too? But, then by some MIRACLE, together, we found a way to make it work. And I couldn't be prouder of these tough, tough conversations and the even stronger friendships by my side in 2015.

Is there someone who you know you can't life without? Who has been a part of your story and you can't imagine your life without them in it?

Fight, my friends, fight!  Even when there is silence. Even when it is so damn painful. Even when you think what you say or think or feel doesn't matter to the other person. Fight for the people who you love.

Lesson 3: Anger Aint Sexy

I'm sure this life lesson is one that I will write about so much more in 2015, but 2014 brought me face to face with the ugly reality of what my anger looks like and how it makes people feel. And it aint good.

Our whole presence in this world shifts when we are angry.

It's not something the best make-up job or plastered smile could fix either. And we're all angry about something.

The self-care books tell us that anger is really not about anger but hurt. Yet, so few of us want to  (or know how to) deal with it, especially us good girls who'd rather be passive aggressive instead. But this is what I know, once you see the anger in yourself, you begin to see its ugliness in other people. Anger unchecked can have such a sad, sad grip on our souls. It's painful to watch. Why? Because anger just aint sexy.

Lesson 4: Love What You've Got

For years, I have been hoping for a life I don't have (and can't seem to have anytime soon). But, a shift happened in me this summer when I was able to let light come into cracks and name the cracks for what they were: good.

Here's one example, this spring, I experienced change in schedule that gave me a depressing amount of free time-- and I hated it. But now that I've got my hands busier than ever, I miss it. No blessing is ever perfect. I say this because nothing ever really completely satisfies us (as much as we think it will). Blessings and cursing often come out of the same opportunity!

So why not savor life and love what we've got? This is what I'm doing right now.

What about you? What lessons did you uncover in 2014?