Troubling Church Talk

When I’ve been around denominational meetings and big picture think-tank type settings lately, I’ve left such gatherings sad more than anything.  Sad not because the food was bad or the company was boring or even because I’d rather be somewhere else, but because it seemed the church (universal) is more divided than ever, focused on things that don’t seem to matter to anyone other than those who are on the inside, and focused more on saving traditions than fulfilling its mission.

It’s painful to be a part of and observe and I’m usually not one to bring such a topic up because I like to focus on what is working not what is failing. Yet, the truth remains: there’s no mistake that the mainline church is in transition, if you want to use positive language, and dying if you want to be negative.

 In my tradition, the Baptist church, attention and participation in associational meetings is down, especially by anyone under 65. (It’s hard enough to get people to come and participate in a local church activity much less an associational event). No one really cares, as much as they did back in 1950, and often those with the time to attend programing meetings reflect the perspective of a generation long past.

I know that such a statement is nothing revolutionary to those of us who have committed our lives to the church and care about it in vocational and personal ways: we experience this tension every Sunday. I know such a statement is what best-seller books in the world of Christian publishing are all about. Leaders who can articulate a clear vision of what the future might hold or how to spin the situation in hopeful ways are authors that we all know about: Brian McLaren, Diana Butler Bass, Adam Hamilton, to just name a few.

But, as a friend of mine who doesn’t attend my church, but occasionally attends hers, sat in my living room today and said to me: “You know attending church is really old news. It’s just not something people think of doing first on Sundays anymore” I actually agreed with her.

Because this is true, we, as church leaders need to pay attention. We need to stop spinning our wheels on denominational reports that just file data in some tall office building somewhere, Bible studies that don’t speak to the questions where most are, and worship services that don’t speak a fresh word of God every time they begin. (If we refuse to change, I really wonder why some of our churches wouldn’t be better off closing their doors and giving the money they make from selling their property to a good cause rather than just doing business as usual).

To begin a discussion like this is also dangerous, I know, because it assumes I have answers as to what is next; while I’m the first to admit, I’m still trying to figure things out myself.

But, what I do know is that I simply am not interested in activities that take up my time anymore that are based on expectations of keeping the same old conversations going.

Conversations like supporting women in ministry– we are here, we are as good at our jobs as our male colleagues, and it really shouldn’t be an issue anymore.  

Conversations like can gay and lesbian members be welcomed in the church– yes, they can, churches like Washington Plaza say, come home and worship with us any Sunday at 11 am.

Conversations like why do young people not like to come to our church– they’ll come if you invite them regardless of their marital or the childbearing status and seek to meet their needs the same as you would a middle-aged parent with children or a shut-in.

Conversations like why are ministers leaving the church– they are leaving the church, especially, the young ones, because they are frustrated with having to live out their spirituality in dead communities when they can find the non-stifling presence of the Spirit of God alive and well outside of the church’s four walls.

I love to be a part of imaginative conversations with hard-working, passionate leaders who take their faith seriously and who are willing to see the church as a relevant place of community and service– not just another institution to maintain. I love to try new ideas in my local ministry context, even if they aren’t approved or supported by my denominational offices.   I’m loving trying to figure out how to be a pastor in a unique community in Reston where there is absolutely NO WAY that the same old, same old would ever work.

Want to keep talking about these things? Know you have a conversation partner with this pastor. My hope for the next year is to continue to meet more of you out there who are thinking similar things with the hope that something new is coming soon and its an exciting time to be a part of ushering it in!

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6 Comments to “Troubling Church Talk”

  1. But the sad truth is that for many we do still have to have these conversations (re: women in ministry, gays and lesbians, young people, etc.). I think it is part of our responsibility to make sure that these conversations are happening (CBF’s current position against homosexuality, for instance, goes unnoticed by most people in the fellowship). This is part of how we look to the future. Sure some women have positions in churches but there are many more who would like them, but can’t find them and even more who grow up thinking they can’t do what they feel like God is calling them to do because of who owns the conversation. Your church is setting a great example by being welcoming and affirming to the LGBT community – and we need more churches like yours – but the vast majority of churches, even in our own tradition, are not only not welcoming and affirming, but are hostile. Further, in churches where some (most) of the membership would choose to be welcoming and affirming, those who aren’t are allowed to dominate the discussion.

    I 100% agree with you that these things shouldn’t be issues anymore, but I also realize the sad truth that they are for too many people and too many churches. We need to have conversations about how we move forward in relavent and authentic ways and in ways that are focused on people, not traditions or institutions, but part of this process means we have to continue fighting certain fights that may seem like old hat for some of us, but in which others are fully engaged and are fighting for their equality and their faith.

    So, don’t hear this as me critiquing your vision of looking forward, of moving on – I stand beside you – just as a sad recognition of the reality in which we, and many others, still live.

  2. As I read your comment, I thought of the lyrics to the hymn, Higher Ground. While I totally agree with you that there is still much work to be done in these areas, I have to think we have to keep pushing on and get our heads less out of the weeds more often than we do currently.

  3. part of the struggle is that pastors have very little authority to urge people to higher ground. We can do great funerals, provide amazing pastoral care, preach wonderful sermons, stand by folks in the deepest struggle, but when we invite them to consider a different perspective on a “social issue” or difficult topic, it is like we’ve never met. I can’t count how many times people with whom I’ve had years of personal relationship and ministry come to like I’m an adversary when I suggest we think about issues such as why we don’t have flags in the sanctuary, or why we ordain women, or welcome for worship all who would come. They always have the option of growing angry and going somewhere else rather than shift, and the amount of care or life they have received in a congregation doesn’t seem to matter.

    I think that for many people these are identity issues (we probably all have them, I guess). They can’t imagine who they would be if they changed how they thought about _____ (fill in the blank with whatever is holding us back). Perhaps that should inform our conversation. Perhaps we should talk less about what we are doing (or ought to do) and more about who we are and who we are becoming. I don’t know how to shape an identity conversation but I sense that a shifting sense of self has been at the heart of many great transitions (I’m thinking of MLK, Jr.’s call to live into who we say we are).

  4. I think all answers we are looking for can be found in the Bible. When we try to come up with answers without using the Bible, we become self-centered instead of Christ centered. If God’s absolute truths are taught in Bible study and taught and preached on Sunday mornings, Saturday evenings, whenever you have your praise and worship service, I think it would be easier for people to live by the Bible, rather than by man’s word. Man’s word changes by every wind and selfish desire but God’s Word is always relevant and true. We cannot bring people to the Church, God will do that. In His word, he say’s If I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto me. Lift up the name of Jesus, teach Jesus Christ and Him crucified. Teach God’s word and watch God bring a flock together. All are welcomed to God’s house. If not, it is not God’s house. Just because you call a building a church does not make it a church. The Church is the body of Christ. What does this mean. It means that we should follow Christ and His teachings that He left for us. An alive Church is alive because it has put Christ first. Make Christ the center and watch God work. Flags in the sanctuary? It depends on the reason. I don’t feel that there’s anything wrong with it unless you’re worshipping the flags. If it’s just to show the many nationalities in your church or to represent the nations of the world, I feel it’s fine, only you know why you’d want flags in the sanctuary. As a leader, you must show humility, love, kindness, (you know, the fruit) when you approach your members. You must set the example that as you follow Jesus, your congregation will follow you. What are you looking for in a church. Is it what God is looking for?

  5. RE: my previous observation regarding identity and creating change in the church…I just read this passage today in “Made to Stick” by Chip and Dan Heath (very interesting book)

    “How can we make people care about our ideas? We get them to take off their Analytical Hats. We create empathy for specific individuals. We show how our ideas are associated with things that people already care about. We appeal to their self-interest, but we also appeal to their identities–not only to the people they are right now but also to the people they would like to be.”

  6. I agree that churches sometimes need to close. If a local church is a living organism, then they have a life cycle. Some die, new ones grow, and sometimes others are resurrected.

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